A practical guide to line managers dealing with emotionally distressed staff
When an employee says, "I'm not doing well," or "I'm burnt out," the goal isn't to fix them—it's to be a safe bridge to professional support. Here are some practical tips.
1. The Opening: Responding with Evidence-Based Empathy
Goal: Validate their courage for speaking up without over-analyzing.
What to say: "Thank you for being open with me. I know it isn't always easy to bring this up, but I’m glad you did. Your wellbeing is much more important than any project we have on the board right now."
What to avoid: "I know how you feel, I'm stressed too," or "Is this because of the [Project X] deadline?" (This minimizes their experience or makes it purely about work tasks).
2. The Discovery: Assessing the "Right Now"
Goal: Determine if they need immediate relief while staying within your role as a manager.
What to say: "I want to make sure you have what you need today. On a scale of 1 to 10, how overwhelmed are you feeling right now? And is there anything on your plate for the next 24 hours that we can move or reassign immediately to give you some breathing room?"
What to avoid: Asking for a clinical diagnosis or personal details about their home life. Keep it focused on their capacity and feelings.
3. The Activation: The 24-Hour Support Pathway
Goal: Move from "talk" to "action" within one business day.
What to say: "My priority is getting you the right support. Here is the link/number for our [EAP/Counseling Service]. I’m going to send this to your email now. I’d also like us to check in again tomorrow at [Time] just to see if you were able to connect with someone or if you need help navigating those resources."
What to avoid: "Take some time and let me know when you feel better." (This leaves the employee adrift without a clear next step).
Practical Tip for HR: The "Shadow Support" Model
In 2026, the best HR teams are implementing "Shadow Support." When a manager receives a disclosure, they have a dedicated, confidential HR contact they can Slack or call immediately.
The manager says: "I have an employee who just shared [Situation]. I’ve given them the EAP info. What is the next policy step I need to take to protect their privacy and the team's workflow?" This ensures the manager never feels they are "practicing therapy without a license."
(written by Geetika Malhotra, lead psychotherapist and Director)
a 3 step guide for supporting employees going through emotional distress
