The Hardest Call: How to Conquer the Mental Barriers to Reaching Out to a Therapist
You are staring at the phone number. Your cursor is hovering over the "Send Whatsapp" button. You know you want help—you’ve known for months, maybe years—but your breath is shallow, and your mind is a storm of "what ifs."
If that’s you, we want you to know one thing right now: You aren't alone.
For most people, the hardest part of therapy isn't the healing; it's the administrative and emotional work required to take that very first step. It is the moment you acknowledge out loud that you cannot do this by yourself anymore.
We are going to walk you through exactly how to get over those barriers, what to say in that initial contact, and how to know you’ve found the right ally for your journey.
1. Reframing the Thinking: It’s Not Weakness, It’s Healthcare
Before you make the call, you need to change the narrative in your head. The most common mental barriers that stop people from reaching out are based on myths. Let’s dismantle them.
The Barrier: "I should be able to handle this myself."
The Reframe: We do not say this about any other part of our health. If you had a lingering chest pain or a broken bone, you wouldn't say, "I should handle this broken leg myself." You go to a specialist. Therapy is healthcare for your mind and emotions. It’s not about being "weak"; it’s about acknowledging your own complexity.
The Barrier: "What I’m dealing with isn't 'bad enough'."
The Reframe: You do not need to be in a total crisis to go to therapy. Many people utilize therapy for personal growth, communication skills, navigating life transitions, or simply understanding themselves better. If something is bothering you enough that you are thinking about therapy, it is "bad enough."
The Barrier: "I don't want to unload my baggage on a stranger."
The Reframe: A therapist is not a passive friend holding your baggage. They are trained professionals with tools designed to help you organize that baggage, discard what isn't serving you, and pack more effectively for the future. You aren’t "unloading"; you are collaborating.
2. What Do I Even Say? (The Practical Step)
You do not need to give your entire life story in the first email or phone call. In fact, therapists prefer that you keep it brief. They just need to know if their expertise aligns with your needs and if their schedule matches yours.
Here is a simple template to use for that very first contact. You can practically copy and paste this.
The Email Template
Subject: Inquiry about Therapy Services - [Your Name]
Hi [Therapist Name],
I found your profile on [Directory Name/Website] and am interested in inquiring about therapy services.
I am primarily looking for help with [one or two words: e.g., "anxiety and relationship issues"] or ["managing recent life transitions"].
Could you let me know your current availability? Also, do you offer a free consultation call so we can see if we are a good fit?
Thank you, [Your Name] [Your Phone Number]
3. The First Session: The "Chemistry" Check
Most therapists offer an initial, short consultation or treat the first full session as an introductory meeting. Think of this as an interview where you are the employer. Your goal is to gauge the chemistry.
Don't worry about "getting better" in this session. Just focus on how you feel.
How to Approach it:
Observe Their Listening: Do they make eye contact? Do they give you space to talk without interrupting? Do they seem genuinely curious, or just waiting to say their pre-planned advice?
Check for Non-Judgment: Do you feel safe sharing that you are struggling? A good therapist creates an immediate atmosphere of validation, not criticism.
Assess their Clarity: Can they explain their therapeutic style in simple, relatable language?
Ask these Questions to Gauge Fit:
"Generally speaking, what is your therapeutic style? Do you focus more on teaching practical skills (CBT) or exploring past experiences (Psychodynamic)?"
"Do you have experience working with people facing [specific issue: e.g., my cultural background, trauma, LGBTQ+ issues]?"
"How do you define progress in therapy?"
4. How Will I Know This Is the "Right" Therapist?
Finding a therapist is a lot like dating. Sometimes you vibe immediately; sometimes you meet a great therapist who just isn’t right for you.
You will know this is the right fit because:
You Feel Safe: You aren aren't afraid of saying something "dumb."
You Feel Validated: You leave the session feeling like your experiences matter, rather than feeling like you were dismissed.
They Listen More Than They Talk: They guide you with thoughtful questions, rather than directing you with demands.
They Respect Your Boundaries: If you aren't ready to talk about something, they don't push you.
They Offer Hope, Not False Promises: They don't promise a "quick fix," but they do show confidence that the process can help you find a way forward.
We Are Here to Help
Taking that first step is the hardest thing you’ll do in your therapeutic journey. Once you make the contact, the path opens up.
If you are reading this and feeling ready—or even mostly ready—we welcome you to reach out. Our clinicians are specifically trained to be warm, welcoming allies for people taking that very first step.
(written by Geetika Malhotra, lead psychotherapist & Director)
